Letting Go

"I miss you." He says.
"Aw dammit..." I think.

Email sent:
You really need to get out of my life and stay out of it, please. I do not miss you, I don't care for you at all and frankly, every time you pop up, I get a tad bit more irritated with you. Don't add me on MySpace or Facebook or any of that other online crap.

Letting go seems to be a recurring theme this year. From stalkers, to exes, to old acquaintance, there are some people who just need to learn to let go. Perhaps its my cold nature and the ability to walk out of one's life without ever looking back. Why can't others do the same? Why's it so painful and discouraging that others can't seem to let go?

My internal struggles usually revolve around family, but as of lately, the whole issue of being able to let go is beginning to take its toll on me. It has enough power and control over me to make fear inch up closer and closer until it ultimately becomes inevitable. The sad part of this all is letting it get to me.

It's discouraging to encounter those who can't let go. Am I becoming soft? Are my seemingly harsh words not as harsh as before? Why do I even care?

"Let's just be friends."

Does it ever really work out? Being just friends? Never. Get out of my life. Stay out of my life. Go live your life as if I'm not alive, please.

I'm so used to living independently. Not, usually, needing assistance or help from those around me...letting go of people is so easy. I wish others could let go and leave me be. I wish others would just let go. I'm sick of it. I'm sick of them. I'm sick of the tears. I'm sick of the sleepless nights pondering why or what has them stuck. I'm sick of the confusion. I'm sick of having to question motives. I'm sick of my lack in trust of human nature. I'm sick of wondering and second guessing and questioning...

Days like this, I just want to retract from the world and not deal with anybody...

Good night.